May 13, 2012

Born From Darkness, Forged Into Light

How long has this goofy project of a blog been going on? By my account of time and space (the whole wobbly thing), we’re hitting the 7th month at the start of next month and we’re going strong. Before that I was just starting out in college and before that I was living my first year out of the Navy and before that I was in the Navy and before that was high school and before that was middle school and before that was elementary school and before that was childhood and before that was infancy and before that I was in the womb of the woman who would create the single greatest person to ever live.

Yes, my not-so-humble beginnings started with my mother Tiffany giving birth to a healthy 8 pound baby named Jace on December 26th back in the late 80s at around 9:30PM. From that night on, she became the mother the world wanted her to be ready or not. Much like me, she was born on a holiday (New Year’s Day to be exact). I won’t give away the year because she still thinks she is in her 20s (which is adorable, must be the old age. NO HE DIDN’T!). While I haven’t been the best son in keeping up with her communication-wise or giving her the honor she holds as a mother, I still love her none the less for bringing me in the world and attempting to raise a “normal” son out of me, my younger sister Marisa, and my younger brother Kyle.

Now Mom, if you’re reading this, I have a few complaints about your parenting skills. Allow me to break it down for you like this.

#1 – You NEVER sent me on a Pokemon adventure

Ok lady, let’s face it, Pokemon was thought to be a fad/phase when I was in 6th grade. Guess what?! I never grew out of it. It now has a place in my heart just like Mario or Zelda games, classics that keep getting reinvented as time goes on. My point being this: Ash’s mom in the Pokemon show let her ten-year-old son go out into just one part of the ever expanding world to meet strangers, fight dangerous monsters, and on and off again, be a crime fighter. To that I say “What the fuck Mom?”

Ok, you get the tally for it being a completely fictional rambling of a man who uses imagination to serve important parallels drawn in reality (that was complex) but it’s the abstract thought that counts. The most I ever got was “Jace! Turn off that Gameboy! It’s dinner time!” To which I would reply “Hold on Mom, I can’t save during a battle!” repeatedly to milk as much time as I possibly could. Either way, you could have given me an adventure of a lifetime. Instead, I had to join the Navy for adventure…way to go…

#2 – I NEVER got to be a Jedi

Look at Anakin, his mom let him go off to become a Jedi. Technically, he became one of the strongest in the galaxy far, far away. Instead, I got a lightsaber substitute which I used un-jedi-like to beat the stuffing out of Kyle with. I had so much passion, determination, and spirit. I would have made a kick ass Jedi but instead you pulled an Uncle Ben on me and made me do chores on our remote city of Kernville on planet California.

How could you do that with a straight face? I remember when you brought the VHS trilogy home to show me the heroes and villains that you grew up with. I was blown away, I was convinced that this stuff really existed (oh seven-year-old me, what a scamp!). But no cloth robed men came to our door to offer me an intergalactic internship at force camp. The best we got were religious people but we sure had fun slamming the door in their faces. FAMILY!

#3 – Save your breath about Twilight. I’ll always be Team Hellsing!

Vampires, always the damn vampires with this lady. Everyone has that one thing that they’re super passionate about. For this lady, it was those damn vampires. Darkness this, Anne Rice that. I remember watching Bram Stoker’s Dracula with Gary Oldman and Keanu Reeves when I was really young (complete with looking away at the scary parts) and I was not impressed with the darkness of the forsaken. For me, it was Professor Van Hellsing who stole my heart, delivering holy judgment upon those demons of the night. That was the COOLEST. From that point, I believe our rivalry grew.

You listened to death metal and rock! I listened to Pop and singer/songwriter types. You liked wearing black and darkening the house from sunlight. I liked wearing white and photosynthesizing (via window, can’t take the Nintendo outside, duh). Even now, I we still have that ying and yang about our preferences but I think he have found things that help us meet halfway. Like Edward Cullen from Twilight who sparkles in the sunlight (which is very, very gay) or Father Able Nightroad, from the anime Trinity Blood, who is a super-vampire who feeds on other vampires.

Regardless, I will admit that I have a soft spot for Lastat but only for his egocentrics and melodramatics but don’t get me wrong. If this was Castlevania, I would definitely be a Belmont with a whip at-the-ready to slaughter anything that could have come from Ozzy’s imagination. So unless you want to wake up with a satirical rosary at the side of your bed, don’t challenge my opinions on those ruthless bloodsuckers. I will give them no quarter.

That was a lot to complain about but I hope you can see the error of your ways. It’s nice to get all of that off my chest without you cutting in to oppress my opinions. Ha! But out of all the bad things you didn’t do or tried (still no fang marks on my neck, thank you garlic cologne), you have done well in some aspects.

#1 (again) – You raised one “unique” child.

I know there are three of us in the bunch but I know for a fact I take the cake as the most egocentric, megalomaniacal and eccentric. Why wear a normal button up shirt when ruffles look so much more debonair? Why use a gun to settle a score when a sword is more elegant? Why do what everyone else is doing when I can do it my way?  You taught me to be myself no matter what. When I had a rough day at school because someone called me this or I had a new bruise/scar on my cheek; you told me to not get discouraged but to keep doing it my way.

My freshman year of high school was a nightmare. I was nothing but a joke, loser, and I frankly hated my life. By the time my senior year had rolled around, I was the goofy king who people respected. I am not sure how but I know it was because I stayed my own quirky course. Even in the Navy, my first year was a bit awkward but by the time I was done with that; I was the sire of the ship doing stand-up comedy and had the entire crew’s approval. No matter where I go now, I meet little opposition by those I befriend. I’d like to think I am a leader but without followers; Just a lone wolf who people admire. That leads me into my next point.

# 2 (also again) – You raised a strong kid.

I’ll never forget what Petty Officer Kitchen, one of my RDC’s in boot camp, said to us. “A hard head makes for a soft ass.” I learned this to be a hard truth of reality. When I lost Aly because of my own lies, it hurt…bad! But you talked me through it, you gave me advice, and when I got my heart broken the next time; I had the know-how which made it hurt a little less. I relish in my tenacity that you taught me to have.

However, this has backfired on you a few times. Remember that time you told me that I wasn’t allowed to leave the kitchen until the dishes were done? It was pushing midnight and I was not having your mom-ness that night. So I used that bull-ish attitude and protested Gandhi style, I feel asleep right in front of the fridge. You said “Fine, but you’re sleeping there for the night.” Whatever, the means justified the ends and after an hour, you made me go to bed. Point, Jace! I have kept that goat-like style since then, most of the time it works. For the times it doesn’t, it’s not fun to be on the losing end.

Still, I am thankful for all of that. I firmly believe that I can do anything I set my mind to. I hate being told no. DO NOT TELL ME IT CAN’T BE DONE! When you tell me that, you’re going to get two things. One, I am going to do exactly what can’t be done. Two, I am going to do it out of spite just to prove whoever denied me wrong. I am the man who can make the impossible possible but only because my mother raised a determined, foolish, but determined boy into a man.

# 3 (also again as well) – You taught me love.

I cannot even begin to imagine what it was like to raise me as a single mother for the first few years. I don’t remember much but it can’t be easy for a 19-year-old (for those of you that try to guess my Mom’s age from my subtlety, I applaud you but you’re assholes). Still, you met John and gave me an environment to grow up a relatively normal kid (minus those things that turned me into me). I had two parents who loved me, two families, one of blood and one of adoption, who took me in as their own, and a brother and sister who annoyed the ever-loving-shit out of me but still earned my punches and hugs.

If I can find a suitable woman to bring home to you to get your blessing from, I would hope that you could also instill your values of love upon her as you did me. Although I denounce my romantic side all the time these days, it’s lying dormant just waiting to be resurrected and brought into the light. Love is my life. I turned out to be a peculiar and comedic romanticist writer and I blame you but not in a bad way. I feel like this is my destiny and that I am meant to change the world in some way, shape, or form. Is it bad for an almost 25-year-old kid to still be dreaming this big? I have no idea but I have hope on my side. Love guide me, from all the sources that I get mine from, I will do it and do it big

So after this entirely unnecessary rant, I hope that you can pull the important parts out and realize that I am proud to be your son. I know we have had out differences in the past but that is no reason for me to be out of touch and completely solitary. You raised a good kid and, debatably, a good man. I went from being a super-nerd who could break mirrors with a single crooked grin to the guy everyone wants to hang out with and the “eye candy” (not my words which I know surprise a lot of you) of my friends. I am truly blessed to have been taught some great things from you and to be a late bloomer even if I won’t admit it.

So a Happy Mother’s Day to you my wonderful, interesting, and youthful (in heart, wakka wakka) mother, Tiffany. I hope that when I am a father, I can teach my kids these life lessons as well. It might not be for a while (I want to find the right woman who can really handle the weird persona that is “Jace”) but I will make you some grandchildren…eventually. If not, you still have Kyle and Riss. Hit them up, I have a lot of adventures still yet to be had for now. Either way, I love you and I hope you take it easy on your day, the one time of year that the greeting card company says you’re allowed to be praised. You earned it or so Hallmark tells me.

 

Posted by on May 13, 2012 in Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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May 11, 2012

Today, a Birth Has Been Dealt

Good day readers. I am not sure if any of you have moved but it’s a pain in the neck. Fees pop up constantly, planning to be out of one place an in to the new one on time, and trying to run your actually life on the side; it’s one stressful nightmare and I am not digging it. On the bright side, it’s a new beginning. On the other hand, it’s a crippling effect on your free time and wallet. That being said, my friend, Kate, is paying the ultimate price for our digression.

That’s right, Kate is adding another year to her age and it doesn’t do her justice. How old is she today? I am not sure which makes me assume she is immortal. Have you ever pissed off an immortal? Of course you haven’t, you’re not that foolish. But the Captain likes to play with fire. Still, the last time I did this kind of risky play with fate, Pluto ceased to be a planet…oops…

It’s not as though I want to miss out on her awesome day. Like I said, moving is the worst I am finding out and just look as what Kate is doing to supplement an excellent birthday party.

Morning – Pokemon Hike and Picnic

So the day starts off with a wonderful hike through the winding and plentiful mountainous areas of Washington. I was told it was not meant to be a capture fest but now is the best time to see some of our local species on parade. I know for a fact that this season is perfect to see an adolescent Deerling in bloom and we have them a plenty. I am missing out on seeing these sites because of my move…sigh…

After checking out the Vileplumes and Mightanyas in the mountains, it will be off to a trail nearby to enjoy a well prepared meal to take in the loveliness that is today’s weather.

Afternoon – Jedi Training

Once that picnic, of what I am sure is going to consist of delicacies not even imaginable by mortals, is over; it’s time to work up a sweat with a little bit of lightsaber swinging and laser deflecting. Kate has been known to keep her skills sharp in the ways of the energy sword but it is unclear which side she actually fights for. Either way, you don’t want to be on her bad side when the energy crystal ignites that blade.

Evening – Assembling for The Avengers!

That’s right, it’s time to take it to the head and get slapped with what is being called the greatest superhero movies ever made, ever! Crime fighting to top off an already awesome day? Yeah, that is how Kate likes to hold things down. After all of that, it goes right to the casino to win big (as if her and her party entourage wasn’t doing that already). You’re in for quite a day, so make it a good one those of you lucky enough to make it today!

So a Happy Birthday to Kate and good luck in all the cool business you’re conducting today. While she is taking names and kicking asses, I will be at home packing with broken spirits and a busted wallet. Now don’t be detoured, I feel like I now have to rival this excellence compressed into one day come mine in December. However, you need to tear it up in my stead (which I know you will).

As for now, I am off to a mundane day of class before committing to packing, moving, and cleaning. You win this time Kate but your immortality will not outlast mine. Again, a Happy Birthday to Kate from all of us (me) here at The Captain’s Blog. For all of your still going, just take Illidan Stromrage’s advice for the day…

”YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!”

 

Posted by on May 11, 2012 in Rants and tagged , , , , , , , .

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May 5, 2012

Pea Brains + Immaturity = Deductions on the Female Population

I have never claimed to be a smart man, ever. Sure, I get that I am a pretty intelligent person but I also think that makes me seem dull and boring. I could explain the theory of evolution to you in an exciting way that will captivate you whether you believe in it or not. Still, I would rather throw a wrench into the argument and watch someone get worked up over it instead. I am an instigator and a damn good one at that but it’s my intelligence that allows me to get that edge and present logical fallacies that drive people up a wall. Master Sun did say to show weakness to hide strength. That makes my dumb grin my strongest accent. Well, that and the fact that I grew up with some really simple people if you know what I mean (somewhere there is a box of rocks my entire community is putting to shame, YIKES!).

Today, we put that spin on my past dating experiences and what I have learned from them. Could this be a potential bad idea? Of course but fortune favors the bold (or stupid)! Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to get the fruit on the limbs. So I will leave you to decide if I am being serious, possibly giving advice, or just making an ass out of myself. I always leave room for interpretation but you first have to figure out. Here are just a few recommendations from what I have encountered.

Never Go “Old School” – Women hate men who are old fashioned! If you’re a shy kid going through high school who has a crush on some blue-eyed dame, rethink your strategy. Sure, you wrote a poem that could Billy Shakespeare. Sure, it would be sly to stick it in her locker so she would find it between classes and you would come off as mysterious. And sure, that secret time you set up to meet her after school will knock her off her feet and you’ll win her over just like that but DON’T. Women hate that kind of thing. You’d be better off becoming a jerk who won’t respect her. Take it from me, from my observations and experience. You could write her into a novel and she’ll go for the skateboarder who thinks he can make it pro while he calls her a “whore” and makes her the bread winner. You’re better off using those talents for your own selfish needs. So use your genius to get money, become famous, and then use your now resources to get revenge! (…smirk starting to grow on my face)

Grow Up – So you like cartoons, low-brow humor, and tend to giggle at the first sound of flatulence. It’s kind-of cute when you’re six but when you add twenty years to that, it’s a deal breaker. Women want mature men who have shunned off childhood dreams, work in cubicles and have no character what-so-ever. So if you’re still rocking a Gameboy to catch Pokémon because you vowed to when you were 12, I have some bad news for you. You’re never going to get the girl because you held on to dreams, hope, and wonderment. Sorry buddy…(…a few “he he’s” have begun to surface)

Don’t Grow Up – Look at you, you’re pathetic. You have a steady job, could describe a Salvador Dali painting with such eloquent language that it makes children stop crying, and that mustache is second only to all three musketeers combined. You’re pretty much set to make some lucky lady happy for the rest of your life, right? I hope you’re not popping open your $3000 bottle of champagne that was recovered from a sunken ship in the English Channel. I’m about to bust your bubble (but not that trust fund you magnificent bastard). Once you become a connoisseur of fine cigars and suits alike, you will repel women like Raid on roaches. So if you were trying to make being a gentleman your forte, you’re out of luck. You’re just setting yourself up for failure. At least you still have that 401K. (…smirk is evolving to a grin)

Don’t Try Too Hard – Are you going all out to please some special tart who has won you over? Is she giving you the time of day to spend time with her in return? If the answer is no, then you are on a sinking ship. Never, ever pour money into a woman like you would a car. A car can be repaired and last unlike a relationship. If she is making requests and asking for things and won’t even consider taking it to a level beyond friends, she’s getting her urges fulfilled by someone that won’t give her the material wants. It’s not you pal, it’s her and that makes her a demon in my opinion. You’re not too bright either but at least you still have that car and my money says she’ll let you inside without even having to ask. You lucky devil! (…cynical giggles begin to fill the air)

If You Didn’t Do It, You Did It – You’re a showman. The world is a stage and you do your part to fill the role given to you by the celestial playwright. The word subtlety isn’t in your vocabulary. You’re an open book and let the world know every detail. Guess what, you’re going to be blamed for everything you do in a relationship regardless of the validity, vagueness, or content. If it even remotely feels like it may be a jab, reference, or have the slightest bit of symbolism to the relationship; you will be fined and given a court date to be tried in the court of Neverwin City. Population: you! You’re now typecast to be the one that always ruins the relationship with your comments. Especially the one about how you at pizza with your friends or how cool you think Legos are. You selfish jerk, didn’t you realize those were hot button issues? (…grin is now a full blown shit-eating smile)

Now let’s get a disclaimer in there before I cause a war. Yes, ladies, you’re not all like that. Fella’s, you need to realize that as well. There are some nasty, mean, cruel, relentless, and unrefined women out there. I won’t say any names but I have dated a few of them (some even blindly and stupidly out of desperation). Still, don’t classify each one like that. Let me put it like this. The women you meet through life are like a bag of assorted Jelly Bellys being eaten in the dark. So many flavors but you have no idea what you’re going to get. Occasionally, you’re going to hit a Buttered Popcorn flavor or Pear flavor (yuck). Don’t let that stop you from getting to the better flavors waiting in that bag. You have plenty of time to check it out and at your own pace. See, that somewhat gets me off the hook…maybe?

Still, maybe I should take my own advice (if any of this can be considered advice). I am pushing 5 years single but not from lack of trying. I am starting to realize I am not bad with women; I am just a reckless idiot who lives out loud a little too much. Still, I am doing well in my mind. What can I say? Keep on keepin’ on! Life’s a garden; dig it (thank you for your wisdom Mr. Dirt). Either way, I still have my bag of Jelly Bellys to enjoy. Soon enough I’ll get to that root beer, cinnamon or tutti-fruity that I am dying to savor.

Posted by on May 5, 2012 in Advice and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

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May 4, 2012

Characters I Probably Shouldn’t Emulate: Mwu La Fllaga

The wait is over. It’s finally time to throw another character I worship up on the pedestal as it were and try to figure out why I love them so much. For this one, I again had to reach back into the past and pull this one out of nowhere. Today, we give praise to the Lazarus-like cocky pilot from Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny, Mwu La Fllaga.

Lieutenant La Fllaga is amazing when it comes to anime bad asses. He is known as the Hawk of Endymion for he exploits in a famous battle that took place on the dark side of the moon. Outnumbered and outmatched in technology, Mwu was able to shoot down six opposing JINN Mobile Suits with his Mobius Zero fighter. However, he lost the rest of his squadron in the fray. Hailed as a hero, he felt he didn’t deserve the title because of his lost comrades. Still, he pressed on to become an ace in the Earth Forces elites.

Fast forward to where Gundam Seed begins, Mwu ends up in the Heliopolis space colony delivering the new mobile weapons that were developed in secret to be used against the opposing ZAFT forces. A surprise raid on the space colony and strange turn of events lands Mwu on the advanced warship Archangel where he turns down the commanding officer position to Marrue Ramius so he can fly his Mobius Zero in case of an attack from ZAFT. This is where his character really starts to shine.

He’s a little bit goofy when he’s not forced to be serious. He likes to make jokes, marches to the beat of his own drum, and tends to relax his uniform to the highest extent. I was inspired and guilty of this many times when I was in the Navy. If I had a quarter for each time I was told to correct myself, I would have a hefty sum of money. Maybe enough to support a few rounds at the bar for anyone who wanted a free drink. Still, he wore his signature smile and made inappropriate jokes when they probably shouldn’t have been said. I have been there too many times. He even makes a few passes at the lovely commanding officer which is a big no-no but ultimately ends up winning her over. They become one of the best couples in the show.

Most notably was his catch phrase which I have used since I first heard it. “I’m the man who can make the impossible possible.” I used to utter this relentlessly through high school which gave me a lot of confidence that nothing was out of reach. I still feel this way even if I am not as verbal with it. Maybe I should get back into the habit of uttering it whenever I can.

Just like most characters I like, Mwu meets his end in possibly one of the most epic ways. SPOILERS ON THE WAY: You’ve have been warned but honestly, if you haven’t seen this amazing show; you’re way behind the times. Anyway, the Archangel is heading towards its sister ship, the Dominion, during the final space battle between the Earth Forces and ZAFT. The Archangel crew has been targeted as renegades and are to be destroyed as per orders from the top brass of the Earth Forces. As the two titans fire shots at one another, The Dominion unleashes it’s most powerful weapon at the bridge of the Archangel. All seems lost as the energy beam barrels at the vessel…until it’s being absorbed by something much smaller than the ship. It turns out to be Mwu in the Strike Gundam holding its shield up to block the massive shot. Unfortunately, the robot he is piloting isn’t meant to take that sort of hit and it begins to disintegrate.  With his final moments of life spent trying to save his ship, he radios in to the bridge and says “See, I told you I could make the impossible possible!” His craft is then destroyed in a gnarly explosion. Upon seeing this upsetting but heroic event transpire, Marrue Ramis, captain and lover, orders the same assault upon the sister ship and destroys it with no remorse. I’ll never forget picking my jaw off the ground the first time I watched this happen. Of course, the character I love gets killed off. Maybe it’s a sign.

Enter Gundam Seed Destiny, the sequel to the amazing show before it. Not many people hold it in high regards like I do but critics will be critics. MORE SPOILERS! About halfway through this series, the crew of the Archangel is recovering from a devastating battle when they come across the body of a masked commander from the Earth Forces known as Phantom Pain. Being the good Sumerians they are, they pick him up. As the Captain brushes the hair out of his face to see if he is still alive, it’s revealed that it looks just like Mwu!  They take him onboard and try to solve the mystery but with much confusion.

As time passes, Phantom Pain keeps informing them that he doesn’t recall going under any other alias than the one he has been using. After a few weeks onboard, Marrue kicks him off the ship before a key battle informing him that it is too painful to keep him onboard. She releases the prisoner with a plane so he can make his way back to his allies. During the middle of the fight, the Archangel begins to become overwhelmed until a lone plane helps to take out some of the threats. Marrue notes that it’s Phantom Pain and for some reason he is lending assistance. Pain then takes a devastating hit and is forced to make an emergency landing onboard the Archangel. As he makes his crash decent, he has flashback to a time that he may have done this before. Could this be Mwu after all?

Onboard the ship after the fighting stops for a spell, Phantom Pain confronts the captain. He tells her that he feels drawn to her, that he isn’t willing to leave her side, and gives her his services since he is marked as Missing In Action by his side of the war. Reluctantly, Marrue allows him to stay which turns out to be a huge asset in the long run.

Fast forward to the ending episodes of the second series. The Archangel is locked in battle with a rival ZAFT vessel known as the Minerva. The Minerva unleashes its biggest, unholy cannon upon the Archangel setting up a very similar situation to the one before. Pain sees this and rushes to aid the Archangel, almost mimicking the events of the past except his mobile suit this time is much more advanced. As Pain holds up his shield to block the energy beam, it hits him. He is set aback by the events of his former life. He remembers being a crew member of the Archangel, he remembers being in love with the captain, and he remembers how he last met his match. As he settles from this recall, he remembers that he is in fact Mwu La Fllaga and he’s lucky to be alive. He quickly deploys his mobile suits advanced defense system and encases his suit and the ship in a laser energy barrier, shrugging off the shot like it was nothing. He then drops the shield, targets the big gun used against them, and destroys it causing the Minerva to crash land in defeat. Mwu then radios in to the bridge with his signature goofy smile and apologizes for his absence following a date request with the captain. HE IS BACK!

Mwu La Fllaga is back proving that he is the man that can make the impossible possible. I absolutely loved this twist in the story regardless of the piss poor holes in the story line. I believe that when you get emotionally attached to the characters, you tune in for them and not the plot. Naysayers be damned, I want to see characters, not hear why the story is bad. So thanks to Mwu, I know that the gods favor fools and drunks and I have been a combination of the two at any given time. I guess what I am trying to say is that I too am immortal. We’ll see though…

Happily ever after and that’s how I like it. I wish there was a third series to follow this one up but a super fan will be a super fan. Thanks for reading this excessive amount of writing to one of my idols. I took many cues from the Hawk of Endymion in my Navy career and there is nothing the military hates more than a soldier that thinks for themselves. Mwu and I had this down stat and that may or may not have been beneficial for us. Either way, we made it out alright and are ready to make fiction into reality. Thanks for reading, this is the Captain telling you to make the impossible possible one day at a time.

Posted by on May 4, 2012 in Characters I Probably Shouldn't Emulate and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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May 2, 2012

Seattle Just Got a Little More Dangerous

Thanks for tuning in to a very exciting episode of the Captain’s News. The last 24 hours around most major American cities has been chaos. May 1st is considered to be May Day or International Workers Day. It’s a way to have organized protests where protesters go on a universal strike for the day to demand better working conditions, higher wages, and other things of that nature. It’s also a big day for the Latino culture to protest immigration laws and rights. Meant to be a day for empowering change and promoting better lifestyles; turned ugly quickly.

As protesters took to the streets, so did self-proclaimed anarchists hellbent on taking advantage of the situation in order to get their message across. Most notably, the Nike-town store near the Seattle Convention Center was hit pretty hard. It’s mind blowing that we were just there on Saturday. Now it has been vandalized when countless hordes in black hoods and masked destroyed the front doors with rocks, broke windows with flag poles, and then vandalized windows with spray-paint. By the time police got there, they had no choice but to spray anyone within the area with pepper spray, including innocent by-standers.

Anarchists didn’t stop there. Dozens of cars were spray-painted with the anarchist’s symbol and had their windows broken out. There was on video where a Porsche was targeted because it was being driven by someone considered to be part of the 1% (from the Occupy Protests that took stage last year). The care was being “tagged” with paint when the driver honked the horn. The anarchists then broke the windows, pulled the driver out, and began to strike him with makeshift weapons until the police chased them off. Many cars belonged to tourists visiting that just happened to be caught in the mix.

Aside from all the violence and chaos, there were a few besides the police lending a helping hand. Phoenix Jones of the Rain City Superhero Movement was in attendance with a few of his superhero posse out on the beat; ready to fight anyone who got in their way. As anarchists took to the old federal courthouse, Phoenix was equipped with a chest came to catch the faces of suspects  and military grade pepper spray to detour  the protesters brandishing weapons to fight with. Thanks to his valiant efforts again, police have begun to identify some of the vandals in order to bring them in for justice. Phoenix was then subject to arrest for vigilantism despite his efforts but was gone before that. Thanks for your help anyway our brave hero protector.

The city has calmed down since the day light hours of yesterday’s wild ride but I was shown something very eerie this morning from a friend of mine. A video has surfaced on facebook less than 24 hours ago and the intended recipient is our city’s savior, Phoenix Jones. Have a look.

It looks like Seattle is about to be on the verge of chaos once again with the rise of the new super-villain, Rex Velvet. What will become of this beautiful city? Will there be a clash of good and evil? Is the average citizen safe to walk the streets anymore? Only time will tell but Phoenix Jones will be needed more than ever in the coming months of 2012.

I am immensely proud to live near a city where superheroes exist and they combat the evils,  big and small, that threaten it. I am even going to Seattle tonight, only one day after the protests to watch a soccer game but will I be in jeopardy? I don’t even worry about it with our local hero on the case. His group will also be there to take care of anything that may come my way. Kudos to you Phoenix Jones and may you bring swift justice to Mr. Velvet in the near future!

Posted by on May 2, 2012 in Sights and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

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April 28, 2012

Mraz is a Four Letter Word for Awesome!

It’s Saturday, you have some free time, and you need some great music in your life. Hello, I’m here just in time to give you what you need. Jason Mraz is back and in a big way. With the release of his fourth studio album, Love Is A Four Letter Word, it has never been a greater time to be a fan. I always expect good things with Mr. Mraz when a new album is on the approach but I am always blown away when he exceeds my expectations and reinvents himself always for the best. This latest arrangement is no different and I may even say it’s the best after I invest more time into investigating the album. Either way, it’s an instant classic in my book. Well played again Geek In The Pink!

Now I have been kind enough to review all of his songs in an earlier article, The Top 5 Jason Mraz Songs in the Captain’s Book. If you’re not a fan of a music, that’s fine. He’s an acquired taste for sure but don’t knock him until you’ve given everything a shot. If your opinion is based on repetitive play of I’m Yours on the radio, you’re missing out by how his been misrepresented to please a pop-hungry general public. Jason is one of the few artists I will defend passionately because I love his work so much. Like I have said before, his music shaped me into the man I am today. Easy-going, joyous, optimistic, and always looking for a good time. From High School to the Navy and now to my college years, he’s an unstoppable force of excellence that can’t be denied.

Now what can you expect to hear on this latest slice of eargasmic easy-listening experience? The same types of things you have come to expect but even better. You can finally enjoy some studio versions of The Freedom Song and The Woman I Love which just sound fantastic. In addition, there are the upbeat sounds of Living In The Moment telling you to take it easy and not to complicate things. That life is too short so make the most of it. Sound advice! There are even a few tracks that detour from the “sunshine” and take us into the poetic wordplay and insightful advice secretly placed in every track. Sneaky but always fantastic.

If we’re talking about throwing one of the tracks into the ring of the top 5 now including this latest masterpiece of Mrazle-dazzle, this little ditty would be there. Traditional Mraz; upbeat melody, fantastic wordplay lyrics, and just a great song to guide the flow of your day. Have a listen for yourself, this one’s on the house.

Once again, you win Mr. Mraz; now take my money. And believe me, he’s gotten it whole heartedly. Somehow, I have managed to buy only CD’s from this cat in our digital music age for different reasons. This time around is special though. If you bought a pre-order CD, it gave you 48 access to pre-order concert tickets before the general public. That’s right folks, after missing him once or twice in the past, I finally have Jason Mraz concert tickets at the Gorge Amphitheatre in September here in Washington and I can’t wait. From what I have read, the venue is one of a kind as far as acoustics and the view go. Being seven rows back and left of the stage, I am sure I will be blown away. I can’t wait to see the show after listening to Jason for a decade now. As a steadfast fan, I suppose I am finally getting my just deserts.

So take some time to check out the new album or any others you’ve missed out on in the past. Spotify is a great place to listen to him for free and check out the new album. If you fall in love with it like I do, then iTunes is your next one-stop-shop to get your Mraz on. After that, I can assure you’ll have a great weekend just with those delicious tunes. Trust me, your head, heart and soul will thank you later. Have a great weekend and we’ll see you again at the gratitude café!

Posted by on April 28, 2012 in Rad Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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April 25, 2012

The Pokémon Shellos and its Role in Allopatric Speciation

Can you believe it? I am finally taking it there. We have run some pretty nerdy articles on the blog but this will top it (or at least I hope). Not only will you learn something vital, but you’ll walk away with knowledge that you really didn’t need to know. No, it won’t be anything crude; just something that you have no reason to keep in that cranium of yours. The choice of what to pick out of this is up to you. I am only delivering the facts. Shall we get into our studies?

As I said last month, I am taking a biology class. I forgot how much I loved the subject and why this was the science that I loved to study. I am now beginning to remember that as a younger nerd that I easily drew parallels between Pokémon and what I was studying. Now it is filtering through in my research and I couldn’t be more pleased. So allow me to put on my lab coat and light my pipe. Professor Oak may not be real but you have the next best thing. I’m Professor Reed (not a tree name like the rest of the professor but it works) and I’ve been studying Pokémon for 14 years. That’s a PhD in most cultures, so boom!

Today, I would like to introduce you to the Pokémon species known as Shellos.

 

 

They’re considered the Sea Slug Pokémon and traditionally live on the coasts of the Sinnoh region. Gentle and docile, they’re known to travel together to avoid predators. Now you may notice that they’re two different colors. You may think this is to distinguish between male and female but you couldn’t be more wrong. This is what biologists call Allopatric Speciation.

Not settle down; I know I hit you with some science there but it’s not as far out as it may sound.  It’s when biological populations of the same species become isolated due to geographical changes such as mountain building or social changes such as emigration. No one is sure how this happened between these two distinct styles of Shellos but myth has it that they were separated when Sinnoh was spit in two at one point. The Blue Shellos is found on the East coasts of Sinnoh while the Pink one is seen more on the West side.

Even though the two look completely different, they can still produce viable offspring (who usually take after the mother). Even though the two breeds are separated by forces beyond their control, their genetics as far as appearance go change but their reproductive barriers do not exist. It’s been noted that if two breeds reproduce, the offspring mostly takes after the mother. These two breeds are the only two documented adaptations of the species but it is widely believed that more may exist in unexplored areas.

This is an artist’s rendering of what a Northern breed of Shellos and its evolved form, Gastrodon. Few have seen something along these lines so it is not yet known if the picture can be given factual credit. A Southern species has not yet been observed.

The Shellos is very gentle creature and eats local flora and fauna found relatively close to the shores where they reside. They make great traveling companions due to their weight of 13 LBS and size of 1 ft. They are capable of climbing with their slug-like features so be sure to keep any inside plants out of reach. Aside from having a water source, Shellos enjoy a good splash in the mud. If you have any soil nearby, they’ll gladly create their own mud to play in. It is also noted that intense pressure applied on these tender creatures will cause them to emit purple ooze. It’s widely accepted as a defense mechanism though it is not certain if the ooze if poisonous for human consumption.

Well clearly, I have come off my rocker…or have I? Clearly, I enjoy this class because I can draw clear lines between fact and fiction. If anything, this will help me not only remember the technical terms I need to know but will also allow me to explore an obsession I have had since 6th grade. Fad my ass, this is my life because I am a dork. However, I am honestly thought about pursuing a biology major. I get super excited whenever I am in this class and I get the same feeling when I go to the Seattle Aquarium. I love critters, especially sea life. Perhaps this is a byproduct of Pokémon?

I hope you enjoyed my rant/lecture on Pokémon/Biology. Again, I leave it to you to pluck out the facts and use them to your advantage. To me, that is all fact. No, I am not insane you jerks. I did, however, go through a lot of resources to get that much information on a fictional creature based on a real on. Put that to mind next time you encounter one while traveling through Sinnoh. Thanks for tuning in. The next parallel I can draw from the class will surely lead to another Poké-discussion. Be prepared!

Posted by on April 25, 2012 in Poké-Biology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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April 21, 2012

I am Getting Old…

I don’t get it either and this has been eating me up all week. I am 5 months into being 24 years old and I am already feeling the effects of old age setting in. I continuously demonstrate my age with each passing day and every time I try to rectify my mistakes, I only dig my future grave a little deeper. What the hell happened?

I wake up each morning and start the day with a nice, warm shower. Is there a better way to start the day? I think not. But then it starts… I used to unkemptly let my hair fall as it will and walk on. Now, I take the time to run a straight comb through my hair for a slick-backed, classier look. It’s then that I am able to observe every eye-sore of a grey hair I have on my head. What in Steve Martin’s name is going on here?

We slowly shake off the rust and head into the kitchen to start some breakfast. Usually, I am strapped for time when it comes to cooking a well-planned meal. Coffee, on the other hand, is never an option. It’s the lifeblood that keeps my gears turning. Now, I also have a Seattle Times subscription thanks to my awesome roommate. So there I sit in the mornings, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. What in Matt Lauer’s name is going on here?

Surely, I may be able to redeem myself on my drive to school, right? No…just the morning tunes I DJ myself turn into old styled jazz and big band recreations. Michael Buble and Jamie Cullum keep the jive mood down and the classiness up as I barrel forward. Additionally, I yell at cars but not with profanity or expletives. I get wound up and call terrible drivers “mongrel” and “cur” as if the people driving would know what that means. What in Frank Sinatra’s name is going on here?

I’m banking on you college, surely there is something you can do to save me? I figure that being surrounded by younger people, especially ladies, will provoke me to act my age. Forget about it. I end up making an ass of myself when asked to read for the class. Allow me to share what I was told to read for my class, directly out of my text The Curious Researcher by Bruce Ballenger:

“u stupid girl, why ru upset & worried? i’m not in a mood or stressed so u shouldn’t be + def don’t b scared of me-i’m a softy! cu in a bit x”

I was ridiculed by the younger, tech savvy generation of students that reside in my class. How do you even read that?! I cringe at all the mistakes in there and how this is becoming an acceptable form of communication? What in William Shakespeare’s name is going on here?

Home, you’re safe and warm. You couldn’t possibly condemn me by any means necessary? Said too soon every time. I am usually two months minimum behind the times for most pop culture references. I found out what a “meme” was three months ago and when I told people I didn’t know what a meme was, they laughed at me. Then when they realized that I wasn’t kidding, they took pity on me. Am I getting too old for recent pop culture? What in Alex Trabek’s name is going on here?

Back to the mirror, those grey hairs still can’t be there. Maybe the wind caught them and graciously plucked them from my still healthy scalp…nope. Then my insane amount of mustache and beard wax catches my eye. I immediately become inspired to grow an amazing but outlandish style of facial hair to bring myself some pride. It’s a distinguished look…that died out 50 years ago…damn it. What in Abraham Lincoln’s name is going on here?

Bed time, I will find solace where I lay my head to rest. I roll over once, twice, three times a lady (and if you got that, sorry but you too are old). My knee is in pain. Time for some Icy Hot and my knee brace to ensure it doesn’t ache through the whole night. Then I realize that I have two crutches helping me get to sleep. I suppose I will just have to face it. I am getting older. The Captain could look like this pretty soon and that’s what is going on.

 

 

Yes, it’s a cruel fate that has forsaken me but I take it in stride. Unfortunately, I can’t turn away from those things above since I value them in my life. Especially knowing how the English language works. I am downright tired of these whipper-snappers destroying the spoken word. Allow me to put on my analogical Depends and rant about the kids of today. If this is the way that the world is going, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

  1. If you think Jersey Shore is something to enjoy for entertainment, that’s fine even though I do not see it for that value. If you want your life to be like that show, I hope you take a long walk off a short pier you morons.
  2. If you can’t distinguish the differences between the “there’s” and “Yours’”, don’t worry because you can get help. If you choose not to because you’re not in English and “that shit is gay”, please save the intelligent people some trouble and go soak your head indefinitely.
  3. If you make internet videos, write, keep a blog, or seek to become a star with whatever talent you have at your disposal through hard work, heartbreak, and rough times; you’re doing it right. If you think you deserve to be anything because you’re “hot”, “awesome”, feel you’re solely entitled to it, or think that’s how the world works; I will buy you a bullet and wrench you a gun and I hope with your limited intelligence that you can figure out the next step.

As you can see, I don’t think too highly of the kids getting out of high school these days and yet, that’s who will be running the country before too long. It makes you curious if the film Idiocracy by director Mike Judge was as entertaining as it was a warning about the future. All I can say is to hell with you kids and your devolving aptitude. I can still work hard and be like Master Asia. This old guy gives no fucks and can destroy mobile suits with his bare hands. Whoa! (if you got this reference, you are old still. Rufus will thank you though)

 

 

Rather than prattle on about how my body, mannerisms, and lifestyle are on the fritz, I need to start doing what every old person does. I need to keep doing the things that keep me young. I will continue to watch Saturday morning cartoons, I will still buy Nerf guns to shoot in my friends faces regardless of the box warnings, and I will continue to laugh, even at poop and fart jokes, since I have strong evidence that laughter keeps you looking young. I laugh every day, or try to, and I look like I did the day I graduated from high school. Some of the girls I thought were good looking in high school don’t resemble their former selves. They look like they looked at the Arc of the Covenant for just a second before closing their eyes, yikes…

All in all, I still have a lot of fight in me, even if the drapes are starting to stray away from the carpet (that was something none of you needed to know, I blame my imaginary senility).  If it happens, I can look at some of the greats that still rocked the grey hair even though they were 20. More so, Jace “The Wizard” Reed would make more sense if I rocked the grey and eventually the white, Gandalf knows what I am talking about. Until then, I’ll keep rocking. A tiger is most fierce when it knows death is at hand. Since I can’t fight without well placed slaps, I know I still have a long time to go. If you’ll excuse me, I hear the Times and a pot of coffee calling my name.

Posted by on April 21, 2012 in Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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April 18, 2012

The Captain Tries Poetry: Pretend Concerto

Let me start by saying that this is going to be anything but beautiful from previous entries of The Captain Tries Poetry. Instead of painting a picture of a romantic but tragic hero (wanna-be); I’ll be painting the image of a villain who mercilessly breaks hearts but not without just cause of course. Let’s get right into the action because I know you’re rearing to see where this is going to go.

It’s my personal belief that everyone has a duality feature about them. This has always been a popular theme in anime that I have admired. Inuyasha is a great example of this. Normally, he’s our reckless hero that is as full of heart and courage as he is of himself but deep inside lies his blood thirsty true demon-self waiting to prey on the innocent and slaughter them. He struggles with this in the show and I always admired that. If anime isn’t you’re thing, another great example is Bruce Wayne and Batman. I am sure that one doesn’t need to be explained but think about the struggle inside Bruce to lead Wayne Corp. and to be the hero that Gotham City needs. To drive the theme even further is Edmond Dantes and the Count of Monte Cristo.

This is my favorite novel of all time. People say that it’s a story of revenge but I have always seen it as a story of justice. You do not take something from someone that you did not earn. It’s dishonest, despicable, and frankly deserves to be fought for to get it back. The Count was very masterful in taking down his foes one by one through some insane means but inside, he struggles with his former self, Edmond Dantes, telling him enough is enough. Still, the Count presses on regardless of anyone’s feelings but his own. In extreme tragedy, Dantes is able to shine through at the end but urges us that revenge is not the way to live one’s life. However, I still think justice and balance is a fair reason to strive onward.

Now I don’t want to get into the story behind this poem today, I have come to let go of my past in my heart. However, I will go to the stand and condemn cheaters and liars. I consider myself a very happy, upbeat, and kind person. If there is any way I can assist someone in need, I will do everything in my power to do so. But if you step on my toes and betray that kindness, there will be no mercy for you in my heart. The same can be said on the matters of love. This is when the epaulets come off and I don the cape of the villain instead. You’ll find no sympathy here anymore.

 

Pretend Concerto

By Jace Reed

I played my part the best I could, but even the best of me wasn’t good enough for you.

Each time you wrapped your arms around my chest, I thought I was your sole protector. But your arms were tainted with another lover.

Each time I kissed your lips with the utmost care, I felt that we were meant to be. But your mouth was already missing his embrace.

Each time you whispered “I love you” in your sleep, I couldn’t stop my heart from skipping a beat. But your words were all scripted, and I was the last to know.

How was I so blind to play the fool and not the hero? There was always the other who you would rather be with but I was kept on a leash until the final curtain call when you left me only to let my character die for the audience of the world to observe.

Another fake princess only adding to a cliché melodrama for the passing times.

But in all the pain that I was left to endure, the true nature of you won’t go unnoticed. When your crown begins to rust, no one will polish it. When your dress grows ratty, no one will give you the clothes off their back. And when your cardboard wings rip in the rain, no one will want that false pretense. Your last crescendo is at hand and no one is waiting for your epitaph.

 

 

Betrayal is unforgivable; at least not for a long time. Nevertheless, the pen is mightier than the sword and always will be. Don’t be surprised if you become the spiteful inspiration for beautiful words that strike like a dozen daggers in the night. I am also one to be very open and public so the world will know on top of it through my art. Justice will be done unto a deceived heart.

Well then, let’s get back to the goodness. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in a long time and I can’t imagine why, not really. Still, the women I have dated after this have been nothing but loyal, loving, and true. But with every bushel, you’re bound to have one bad apple. You simply throw it out and get on with the rest of that delicious bunch, fo sho! I hope you enjoyed seeing a darker, edgier side of my writing today. I was hesitant to share it at first but who am I to judge my own work. That is for my respective audience to decide.

Posted by on April 18, 2012 in The Captain Tries Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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April 15, 2012

The Amazing Art of Beroro!

Greetings once again my fans. A happy and lazy Sunday to you, take it in and enjoy what is left of the weekend. That’s my plan at least and this article will serve as proof. But I won’t leave you high and dry, no. This will have substance and visually beauty that will seduce your senses and help you appreciate the season. It is spring after all, the season of love and splendor. Is there a better reason to be alive?

So let me give you a little back story for this little barrage of skill. Back in the day when I saw “Toradora” for the first time, I absolutely loved Taiga as well as her pairing with Ryuji. I, being the romantic fool that I am had to fill my free hard drive space with romantic pictures of the two. Search engines, one after another, gave me nothing out of the ordinary. Blandness was the name of the game and I was being dealt a dead man’s hand every time. That was until I came across one masterpiece that caught my eye. It looked exactly like this.

 

 

Adorable, understated, and outspoken all wrapped into one digitally pleasing package. It was stunning and made a wonderful addition to my growing collection. The only down side was that there was no artist listed to point the pleased finger. Still, the art style was significantly their own. Unmistakable and astounding. Based on eyesight alone, I was able to uncover a few more charming pieces.

 

 

 

As time passed, new shows came to replace the slots of what I was currently watching but these pictures were never too far away from my reach. I always had a copy of them on my phone because I enjoyed looking at them. They say so much without saying a thing, I absolutely love that. A few nights ago, I tried to find some new pictures of this beloved couple and sure enough I came across some lovely shots with the same art style. This time, however, had an artist to offer praise to. They go by the moniker “Beroro”. With just this little bit of information, I was able to search for them and I came across their official art site and I was astounded. Everything from these beautiful works to simple things done with just a few markers like these.

 

 

There were even some amazing pencil sketches that just wreak of inspiration like these.

 

 

Just to add to that, I found some new ones that I had never seen before that were just mind blowing. The craft, the messages I could pull from them, and just the concepts took me away to another place. It’s amazing when something hand drawn has a profound effect on you like that. Just have a look.

 

 

The last one really speaks to me. If you saw the anime, you know that Taiga can’t swim what-so-ever. So to see Ryuji’s hand reaching out to her as her sole lifeline is awesome. It can even delve deeper into bohemian ramblings of destiny and soul mates but I will spare you that talk today. To top it all off, they also have a few other anime/game titles with that same, unique art style. So if you want to check it out, click here to go to the official site for more goodies.

So there you have it. I have smothered you with some lovely visuals and you’re all welcome. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Perhaps I can find a way to print a few out professionally and get them framed because to me, that is art. Thanks for tuning in my loyal crew. Until we next meet, keep on rocking and the on will rock. Enjoy!

Posted by on April 15, 2012 in Sights and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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